Wednesday, December 30, 2009 @12:00 PM
Just as i was chatting to friends about what's their plans for countdown parties. I just couldnt rem what i usually do for countdown parties to the new year.
Perhaps it's the holding back. My brain cells just simply wanna me forget abt it. not to recall anything. but now i rem, It's the special day of that special someone that belongs to me for the past 5years. It's her birthday..
Yes, for most of the 5years, i have been busy days way before 31st to prepare for her birthday present,surprises n what not. N yups. a few of this have been spent overseas together like korea and bangkok..
This year , it's different..it's all bound to what i want to do, alone. It's all up to me. no longer two.
But be it. i just wanna wish that all her wishes will come true n i reallyreally hope..that, which is what she chose. will really be the best for her. really do.
-please, if there's any endings that will be tormenting to her, just strike it upon me for it really doesn't make much of a diff to me right now-
♥
Friday, December 25, 2009 @2:48 AM
the moment it ended. staring across the empty space. for a moment, i realised i was alone..there was no one i could look across at..it's amazing how different i felt. it's been 5 great years ..for now, it's different.
it's a life i have no directions to look at . or perhaps i don't know where to start to drive towards too..
i really gotta say....a plan of settlement the following year was what i had looked forward to. a resolution for the year 2009. . stepping towards year 2010. i seems to be left with nothing, just nothing at all.
it's not a post of emotional thoughts, it comes within, for the least at this instance.
i envy u guys. i do. i really do. It's tormenting .
i have been classified as one with character flaws, perhaps i only know how to give. but not giving out the quality that's been seeked for. Have i really not done enough. Do i really not know how to treat one right.
For many of my pals, they are the cream of the crops coming from the mars' category. I am the opposite. just the direct opposite
-i will make it right, if there's ever a chance of returning back to the past-
♥
Sunday, December 20, 2009 @6:12 PM
im back from all the trips. end of journey.
countless photos, immense memories.
im hit hard, the moment i stepped upon my empty house.
feelings which i dunno how to pen down. i missed my parents, my family.
definetly, i realised the meaning of "cherishing only when u lose it."
facebook-ed.msn-ed.gazed upon the dark empty sky.im lost totally.
what am i ..? really. is there any true friends who will wish to tell me what i am?
i know im a failure in life. i don't think im e least bit of any value. i don't wanna say this , i don't wish that this is the truth. but i really gotta admit now. i suck. i suck in everything.
do i now even have a passion . i really don't know.
-am i reaching another bottom pit, i cant even seems to control my emotions anymore. tearing upon an empty promise made-
♥
Monday, December 14, 2009 @9:22 PM
another 2days before im back in sg again..time really flies huh. it's alrdy been 3 weeks since im down under and nz's trip just pass by that quickly.
memories flashes pass many a times. im confused.
nightmare galore. pls spare me this tonight. i just wanna have a good rest.
-are memories really meant to be kept, or at times, one really ought to know when to let go-
♥
