**跟我說 : 哥哥(你)是一個好男人 ..i really miss them.

it's great to know people you once cared for do think of you.




-if i was even given a chance, believe me. i would.-
甘心替代你..

♥

你的回話凌亂著.在這個時刻.我想起噴泉旁的白鴿. 甜蜜散落了. 情緒莫名的拉扯. 我還愛你吶. 而你斷斷續續唱著歌. 假裝沒事了. 時間過了走了. 愛情面臨選擇. 你冷了倦了我哭了. 離開時的不快樂. 你用卡片手寫著. 有些愛只給到這真的痛了. 怎麽了.你累了.說好的.幸福吶 我懂了.不說了.愛淡了.夢遠了 開心與不開心.一一敘說著.你在不捨 那些愛過的感覺都太深刻.我都還記得 你不等了.說好的.幸福吶 我錯了.淚乾了.放手了後悔了 只是回憶的音樂盒還旋轉著. 要怎麼停呢 你的回話凌亂著. 在這個時刻. 我想起噴泉旁的白鴿. 甜蜜散落了. 情緒莫名的拉扯. 我還愛你吶. 而你斷斷續續唱著歌. 假裝沒事了. 時間過了走了. 愛情面臨選擇. 你冷了卻了我哭了. 離開時的不快樂. 你用卡片手寫著. 有些愛只給到這真的痛了. 怎麽了.你累了.說好的.幸福吶 我懂了.不說了.愛淡了.夢遠了 開心與不開心.一一敘說著.你在不捨 那些愛過的感覺都太深刻.我都還記得 你不等了.說好的.幸福吶 我錯了.淚乾了.放手了後悔了 只是回憶的音樂盒還旋轉著. 要怎麼停呢 ..

-it's just another day in the 365days, it's once in my 26years, no longer looking forward, nor do i need any celebrations-

♥

i need a light. i need a direction in life.
It's something im currently lacking in my life.

The current me. is not what i want to be. N definetly i see no future in this pathetic soul.

Another week it will be. The first one after 5years.
It's just something im not looking forward to. Be it because of the fact that when ppl gets older, they tend to not celebrate it anymore, or be it the fact that it's gonna be the first one since a long time that i'll be "celebrating" this alone.

Thinking back, she made me felt like a movie star when my pictures appeared on the large plasma screen at the building of hmv, orchard. It's something that i rather she not waste her money doing it, but it was something that really touched me. the efforts she put in. it made me feel so special. But it's all torn apart. 120709.

As what i said before, the surprise. got surprised.
It's how it ended. Till now, it's kept that way.


-emotions are not sought for, it comes from within. Sometimes, it's better off being a heartless one.-

♥

Osim. It's this little conversation i had today with a pal that just sets me thinking.



"but thinkin back..without u..things will be so much diff..if..."

It's the little things people do n how they reciprocates to one's efforts. importantly, it's people whom u care for. friends.



This friend of mine was just mentioning to me about some incident that happened. He felt disappointed being taken for granted despite being friends for some time..n after he just stated this."im sure u feel this hundred times more than me". I was taken aback. I've never really thought of this. but somehow it did hit me.



I'm not asking for anything in return. but neither do i want to be taken for granted. It's sad to know that when i was not around in sg, none bothered to organise the usual friday meetups. be it a simple dinner or so. It's something i did hope that will happen when i left sg.



I mean Come On, issit that i really need the meetup? issit really me being the only one who's looking forward to meetup with THE friends? Im sure i will always turn up for any of the gatherings that any of our peeps organise. It's not that im so into wadever activities the then organiser proposed, it's the little support to give to someone who actually bothers doing something for the group. Isn't this kinda heard/seen alot of times? "It's not the activities that matter, it's the group of people u are with." But. how true is this in actual life.



He mentioned that the bond among our group seems to be fading away..n i definetly agrees to that. But what can i do.

Every friday, i'll try to keep this bond alive, by organising meetups. be it dinner + wadever activities after. Yes, if u had not notice, the thought of doing wad after dinner actually kills me each week. Yes, and many would say "who ask u ask so many people, everyone also jio."

Yes, i chose to send smses to abt 30people each week. inviting them to join us for the activities.

It's just like taking my own hand and slapping my own face.



Take a few minutes, if not just a few seconds, to think about this. "It's not a badge, it's a family crest."
It's the reason why i chose to waste my sms . sending to all peeps in the team.
As according to him, if i didnt invite the rest of the peeps in the team to join us, would the bond be as strong like now. i really don't know.
I'm sure many of those who had organised the meetups before have told me that they would get damn Sians. when they receive lotsa -ve replies..the trouble of thinking what to do after dinner.
Did you ever put ureself in my shoes ..i always get that kinda negative replies. it oversurge the +ve replies normally. do u not think i'll feel disappointed as well. being the one doing it in n out each week. And at times, the response i get during the meetups is like "eh, organiser, so doing wad after dinner." "eh organiser, so little people ah?".

Perhaps u may see this as a ranting part of mine, or rather the usual "emo" tag many loves to put on me. Many would also take me as a joker. But no.
It's just something i wish everyone can take a little of their time to think about, if, this so called friendship/bond is important to you.


-the word sick is an understatement when it's fitted into my life-

♥

Reon

if my heart has grown cold there your love will unfold as you open my eyes to the work of your hand my heart will find praise and i will delight in your way in my life your will be done


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